Author | Brenda Bercun | Child Book Author

My Story...

Coming from a less than ideal sibling relationship with my older brother helped me see the importance of parental involvement in promoting better sibling relationships. My older brother and I did not have the kind of relationship I longed for. It is my belief that when I was born into the family my brother experienced displacement. This was an emotional trauma which affected our relationship. My parents were loving and did the best they could to support us but unfortunately they really didn’t have the tools to deal with the situation.

As life would have it, I was dealt a similar situation as a parent. My son also experienced displacement after the birth of my daughter. Having a similar experience in my own childhood, I tried my very best to be there for my son as well as my daughter. I became a rubber ball bouncing from child to child giving them every ounce of myself in order to decrease the negative impact on my son. I truly wanted my children to be close and have the kind of sibling relationship that I had longed for. It was obvious that my daughter adored her brother. It was also obvious that my son tolerated his sister at best.

During the early years of parenting I discovered something that changed the course of my children’s budding relationship. I discovered that I was missing an important link. This link helped me see the importance of parental involvement in promoting better sibling relationships. The link was to promote the relationship between them instead of my being everything to each of them. I started celebrating them as brother and sister. I pointed out to my son that his sister loved and adored him; that she was watching and learning from him; that he was very special to her and how lucky she was to have him. When she would copy him I would point it out to him. He was her teacher. Her achievements were in part due to what she was learning from him. Celebrating her meant also celebrating him.

When I saw the positive effects of this approach, I brought this teaching into my professional practice. I successfully began to do interactive play with parents and their toddlers who were about to become siblings. The object was to help the family understand the older sibling’s very important role in the family and set a positive foundation.

I wrote these children's books with accompanying children’s songs (CD's), in response to my work in supporting families as they grow and change. The relationships between siblings are as rich as the individuals. Some sibling relationships develop well on their own. Others need to be guided and molded. Children need to know and feel that they are contributors to each other and the family. Celebrating children’s accomplishments is a part of celebrating the family. My hope and intention is for families to use this book as a vehicle to promote strong sibling and family relationships while minimizing the negative effects of sibling rivalry. My children's books, and children's CD's make wonderful gifts for children and a parental guide for birth parents.

Brenda Bercun

Some sibling relationships develop well naturally. Others need to be guided and molded.

Brenda Bercun, PNP, CNS, MSN has nearly 30 years of extensive professional experience as a pediatric nurse, Pediatric Nurse Practitioner and a Clinical Nurse Specialist in Child and Family Mental Health, working with parents and children in various healthcare settings. She has 18 years of experience as a mom. In addition to being a children’s book author, creating healthy, functioning families of all types is Brenda’s professional mission. She understands and supports the principle that healthy families create healthy communities and societies.

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